#31 On Cloud 9
There are several really expensive adventures in Richard Horne’s book. I like to aim for those goals first, because I’m afraid I will be too wise to haphazardly blow cash on such foolish endeavors in my old age. This was another reason to knock out #101 - Continue Your Gene Pool. Which, by the way, is going swimmingly.
I’ll admit to being a little thrifty, though. I always look for military discounts. As was the case with having a child - our medical care was paid for by the commitment to serve our country. Other than that, one of the best military discounts ever was for a zero gravity flight with Zero-G Experience.
Have you ever seen a child so excited that they’re grinning from ear to ear, bouncing from wall to wall, and squealing inaudible gibberish while trying not to pee themselves? That was me on the drive to this adventure. I was over-the-moon excited, and I haven’t been like that since I was probably 3.
I confess, I did suddenly wake up at 5:37am to a harsh dose of reality. My eyes literally opened from a deep-sleep as I thought, “I won’t really be floating from micro-gravity. I will be “floating” because I’m falling through the sky at 34,000 ft., and I just hope the plane will catch me at 24,000 ft.” The fear was short-lived, though. I drifted back asleep for another 50 minutes and totally forgot about my wake-up call until the bus ride to the plane. By then, my adrenaline was too powerful for reality to conquer.
For those of you considering this adventure or just wanting to live vicariously, here is an outline of the day:
0630 - Wake up. Jog in place to work off some of my nervous energy. Skip to the shower…take a long one! Spend extra time on my hair and make-up - lots of people will be taking pictures today.
0730 - Snuggle with my husband and baby before running out the door. Lots of kisses!
0740 - Drive to the airport hotel to meet the flight team and receive the pre-flight safety briefing.
0755 - Update Facebook
0800 - Get denied by security. Apparently, my military ID is questionable. Go back to my car to get my fake driver’s license that says I’m only 21. Success!
0810 - Waltz in to find that everyone else has someone with them, and I’m the only one by myself…awkward
0812 - Meet my flight coach. Helloooo Jeremy! Request to take a couple items on-board to experiment with in micro-gravity. Awkwardly and loudly explain that one of those items vibrates, but is not a vibrator. :/
0820 - Struggle to don my extra large flight suit with 50 million straps, zippers, and pockets. What am I supposed to do with these??
0821 - Another flight coach, Chris, comes to the rescue and helps me navigate my flight suit. Helloooo Chris!
0830 - Meet fellow teammate who paid for three of her friends to come here on a private jet and do this experience with her. God bless her!
0839 - By now, I’m coming down from my adrenaline rush. After all of the awkward moments this morning, I’d really just like to knock out #7 with Chris and Jeremy and call it a day!
0840 - Safety briefing video starts.
0900 - Meet the rest of my team - Team Gold! Several people volunteer to pair up with me so I don’t feel as bad about doing this experience by myself.
- Bus to the plane, take group photo, board plane, and watch “flight attendant” do a really funny version of the safety briefing. Update Facebook!
- Take-off.
We spent a good portion of the flight buckled in our seats, which are all located toward the back of the plane. I was uber paranoid about feeling queasy, so I kept straining to see out the two tiny windows at the exits in the middle of the plane. Luckily I was in the front row, since this is the only row that has much of a view at all. It really was a hopeless endeavor, and I felt much better once I stopped worrying about it and started listening to the mega-wealthy lady tell stories about her life adventures (heli-skiing, hiking The Wave, etc.). They finally gave us the signal, and we stored our shoes and walked to our designated team sections of the plane. Team Gold was up front, right behind the cockpit.
Several minutes passed as we discussed how to position ourselves during the low vertex of the parabola (lying down, staring at one spot) and how to maximize our time at the high point of the parabola. Some key instructions: don’t swim - there is no opposing force to propel you through space, don’t use a lot of force to push-off - it doesn’t take much to propel your lighter body weight, don’t flail your arms and legs - you will hurt someone, and put your feet down immediately during the call for “feet down” or you will land on your face - hard.
The first experience is Martian gravity, so you can get used to the absurd feeling of floating. I did a ton of one finger push-ups. I suggest the military start doing their Physical Training test in micro-gravity - it’s way easier!
We did another cycle of slightly lower gravity before doing another 12 parabolas or so of lunar gravity. I walked on my hands, walked on the ceiling, did effortless flips, flew through the air like Batman, caught Skittles in mid-air, and shot from wall to wall. Honestly, my favorite part of the experience was just letting my body float where it may.
After landing, Zero-G Experience had arranged an awesome re-gravitation ceremony that included lunch and presentation of certificates. If you have around 5 Gs of just stupid money, this is an absolute must-do experience!
See for yourself:
I have to say, since having a child my priorities have completely changed - just as I was warned about. After someone dies people comfort themselves by saying, “That is how they wanted to go.” Not the case for me! The reason I’m mentioning this is because you always have to consider the risk when participating in adrenaline adventures. Not that this zero gravity flight was that risky - the pilots are the best in the business. It’s just that there is NOTHING in this world that I would rather do than be here for my children. I’ve decided to stick to more low-key adventures until my kids are grown and begging me to tag-along on their life experiences.






