101 Things

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liveuponatime.com

The first time I went skinny dipping was in high-school in my best friend’s pool (sorry Mr. and Mrs. Weldon).  It was the middle of the night, the moon was full (no pun intended), and we were too innocent to care about getting caught.  I’ve been an avid stripper-dipper ever since!  There are few things more freeing than water hugging your every curve, moonlight complementing your skin, and…whatever that magical spell is that skinny dipping has on your soul.  I’ve skinny dipped at all different times of day, in two large oceans (Pacific and Atlantic), in rivers, lakes, and springs, in public pools, and just about every friend’s pool (again, sorry to those that were blissfully unaware).  Luckily, I’ve never been arrested, but I have been high-beamed by four-wheeler headlights on beach patrol.  I think there’s less of a risk getting arrested while skinny dipping, because that’s just an awkward time to approach someone.  Perhaps, if I’m ever confronted, I’ll claim the waves knocked my clothes off.  No?

There’s apparently a show called, Skinny Dip (http://www.travelandescape.ca/shows/showdetails.aspx?sid=9534), where the host travels the world in search of the best places to skinny dip.  Costa Rica happens to be one of the highlighted destinations…for good reasons.  Reason number 1 - it’s not illegal to dip in the buff in Costa Rica.  On the second day of my family’s Costa Rica vacation, we were able to sneak a skinny dip and got swept away by the long tide.  We giggled as we fought our way back to shore, were bumped and jarred by jutting rocks that stayed hidden by the gray water (ouch), and then were suddenly pushed back to the beach by the powerful waves before being carried out to sea again.  One thing is for certain - clothes would have been a drowning hazard (reason 50 bazillion for shedding your clothes before diving in).  There were a few people that were hundreds of yards down the beach.  For all they knew, we were wearing flesh-colored swimsuits.  We went swimming with a large group a few days later, but we were too focused on the sand building up in the lining of our swimsuits to really enjoy ourselves.  Naked is the way to go!

I feel like I can’t do this post justice without posting a picture of the view around me.  Enjoy this vision of tropical heaven…

FYI - Baltimore actually attempted a world record for the largest simultaneous skinny dip in June 2009.  Too bad I didn’t know about this in advance; I could’ve knocked out #83 (skinny dip) and #16 (Guinness Book of World Records) in one try.  Perhaps this year

 *Notice how I’m standing as close to the barricades as possible? Read on to find out why

There are few places that conjure visions of protests and demonstrations like New York City. When we began planning our Macy’s Thanksgiving trip, I knew this would be the perfect opportunity to accomplish #98, Go on a Demonstration. I began searching the Internet for a PETA demonstration (my all time fave animal rights organization), but apparently they keep their operation plans pretty hush-hush. After searching for “animal rights demonstration day after Thanksgiving”, I discovered that the day after Thanksgiving is the most widely attended annual animal rights demonstration - FUR FREE FRIDAY! Jackpot! Caring Activists Against Fur (CAAF) posted details of their plan to march from Lord & Taylor to Macy’s, so I e-mailed them to let them know I’d be joining their group. A lady named Julie responded to let me know that another group, Global Justice for Animals and the Environment, was also meeting earlier that day to protest Canadian seal hunting in front of the Canadian Consulate. Double Jackpot!!

The experience:

I arrived in front of the Canadian Consulate at 11:00am, as instructed. It was freezing! There was a police officer looking around and sanitation workers cleaning a fountain, but no protestors. I waited a few minutes before deciding to walk around the block just in case I somehow read the directions wrong. Next time around, there were two more police officers talking on radios as if they were expecting some action to begin. A Carrot Top look-alike walked his bike to the fountain and began looking around as if he were expecting someone. It was now 11:20am and I was frozen solid from fountain-cleaning overspray, so I decided to sneak into the Rockefeller Center for a soy mocha at Starbucks. Apparently, this group was unaware that leather-free watches are now being sold in stores. I emerged from the warmth just in time to see a full-fledged police squad, an eclectic mix of people digging banners and posters out of backpacks, and Carrot Top waving to some members in the group. I knew these were “my people”, so I walked up as if I were a pro at protests and waited to be handed a sign.

About five policemen approached us to inquire about our plans, when the fear of #23 (Get Arrested) hit me like a wave of motion sickness. I did not want to get arrested today, so I shakily complied with everything they instructed us to do. They instructed us to get in “the box” (several metal barricades shaped in a square), and I was the first (and only) to jump in the box as if I were a new recruit at boot camp. The others argued that the box wasn’t necessary, and the police officers actually relented. They asked us if we had blood on us, and I began emptying all my pockets for inspection while the others simply replied, “No.” They again asked us what are plans were for the day, so I handed them a print-out of the e-mail that I received. By this time, it was clear that I was not a pro at protests and that I believe in peace almost as much as I do animal rights.

Then the harsh words began. First from the protest group when they began bashing recent decisions of the Humane Society (I happen to be on the local Board of Directors). I asked them if we could just all work together to make progress, and they agreed and were polite throughout the rest of the protest. Then, some of the strangest comments began flailing from the mouths of passers-by. “Abortion is murder!” “What about cruelty to humans?” “Focus on the economy!” To them I could only respond, “It’s all important.” Does anyone else out there feel that we all should do everything we can to make this world a better place? Some people were really so vain to ask, “How do I pimp if my fur’s not real?” One of the saddest things I witnessed was a mother covering the eyes of her preteen daughter, so she could not read our signs. I wanted to stop the mother to make her aware that her daughter clearly had no awareness of the world around her, anyway. She was much more focused on protecting her leather Mary Janes from the dirty city streets, as I’m sure her mother had so carefully taken the time to teach.

Overall, the demonstration was pretty moving. Members of the group performed a convincing rendition of the Animal Cruelty Olympics: Canada, Norway, and WTO (see video below). Several people expressed thanks as they passed. Others requested brochures. The police even endured freezing temperatures to make sure we were safe and provide escorts for the march later that day.

As a disclaimer, I do not necessarily agree with all of the beliefs and practices of the organizations mentioned above. I do, however, believe that we can all work together for common goals. Oh, and fur is dead!

Have you ever splattered tomatoes across Spain in The Tomatina, flashed your ta-tas during Mardi Gras in New Orleans, rocked out to the best bands at Oktoberfest in Germany, or soiled your undies as a ginormous clown barely misses the light pole above you at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade in New York?  Surprisingly, none of these events were mentioned in 101 Things To Do Before You Die; however, I have appended my list to include many major world events (even ones that include flying killer clowns).  Luckily, my family has been able to attend the Macy’s Parade twice - once in 2007 and again this year.  I am happy to report that the clown mentioned above did, in fact, miss the light pole and the parade continued as planned…but it was a close call.  There is something so magical about watching larger-than-life balloons stroll through a valley between sky-scrapers.  If you have the parade on your life’s to-do list, I’m hoping my lessons learned might help you make the most of a once-in-a-lifetime trip.

Skip the parade-view hotels and stay in a moderately-priced hotel around Times Square.  If you fork over the thousands of dollars hotels charge for window view, you will miss out on clowns tossing confetti, listening to the stories of everyone around you as you wait hours for the parade to begin (often told in fun New York/New Jersey accents), eye-to-eye contact with parade participants (often celebrities), and the overall parade experience.

Our family gave a huge thumbs-up to the Four Points Sheraton-Times Square.  Our room had two heavenly double beds (either they were made of fluffy clouds or we were that tired), a convenient LCD TV, a spa-like shower that never ran out of hot water, and a glorious view of New York (ask for the 20th floor or higher) - all with a trendy, modern vibe and for under $200/night.  We were a little hesitant to book the hotel because of reviews that commented on the shady neighborhood around the hotel at night and the small size of the rooms.  News flash for those reviewers: 1) all neighborhoods in New York are at least somewhat shady at night and 2) New York has a popular habit of building up, not out.

Suck it up and arrive at the parade route by 5:30am.  There are people that actually pay to have someone hold a front row seat, and the best spots will be filled by 6:30am.  The balloons are huge, but you will miss out on the overall experience if you aren’t able to see the floats and the participants on the ground.  I snuck a peek at the people watching from the hotel windows, and most of them were squinting at the ground trying to see all the action.

The best idea ever…take ThermaCare body wraps and hand warmers in case the weather is chilly.  We didn’t do this the first year we went, and the hours we spent waiting were miserable.  This year, the weather actually got colder as the sun came up, but we were toasty and able to relax and enjoy.  We also brought iPods, a Nintendo DS, and snacks to keep us preoccupied.  I don’t recommend drinking anything that morning if you won’t be able to hold your liquids for hours on end.  The last thing you want is to spend a ton of money planning a vacation, wake up at the crack of dawn to fight people for a front row seat, climb back over the crowds to get to a bathroom, and spend hours in a line without even a TV to watch the parade pass you by.

Make reservations at a restaurant for Thanksgiving or you will be forced to wait hours at T.G.I. Fridays for a cherry tomato and a bill for $75 (lesson learned in 2007).  We booked our reservation through OpenTable.com about a week before Thanksgiving.  I recommend booking farther in advance to ensure you can find a restaurant the entire family will enjoy.  I have to say, we hit the jackpot on our reservation at West Bank Cafe in Times Square.  All four of us raved about every course of our meal.  The chef was even kind enough and skilled enough to create a vegan meal for me…I still dream about the carrot and coconut soup.

Most importantly, plan a few days off after you get back from your vacation to recover.  Trips that require a plan for every minute are exhausting, but you’d miss out on so much if you didn’t pack your schedule in New York.

I guess it’s time to start planning our coast-to-coast road trip (Thing 53), even though it’s still a couple years away.  I’d hate to miss a once in a lifetime opportunity in a state in the middle of nowhere and have to buy a plane ticket to re-visit.  My husband and I have decided to explore the northern part of the U.S., since we were both raised in the south.  Growing up in Texas, I was able to make road-trips to the east and west coast of the southern states.  I also made several trips to Missouri for family reunions and one to Wisconsin for a Green Bay Packers game.  Now that we live in Florida, we’ve gotten to see much of the east coast – from the southernmost point in the 48 contiguous states (Key West) to New York.  I can’t wait to see how the north compares.  Get this – our family of four is planning to travel the entire way in a camper van (see Thing 97)! Our tentative plan is:

Maine:

- Start in West Quoddy Head in Lubec, Maine (the easternmost point in the 48 contiguous states)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/West_Quoddy_Head

-  Drive down to Acadia National Park to explore more than 120 miles of hiking trails and 45 miles of carriage roads

http://www.acadiamagic.com/welcome.html

New York:

- Kayak or hot air balloon through a section of Adirondack Park

http://visitadirondacks.com/

Ohio:

- Chow down at Chrissie Hynde’s The Vegiterranean Restaurant, Bar, Coffeehouse, and Bakery

http://www.thevegiterranean.com/

Indiana:

- Ransack The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis

http://www.childrensmuseum.org/

South Dakota:

- Dig for fossils in the Badlands National Park

http://www.travelsd.com/placestogo/badlands.asp

- Stroll the half-mile Presidential Trail at Mount Rushmore

http://www.travelsd.com/placestogo/rushmore/index.asp

Wyoming:

- Catch a glimpse of bison, elk, bears, and wolves at Yellowstone National Park

http://www.nps.gov/yell/index.htm

Idaho:

- Pretend like I’m training to be an astronaut and walking on the moon at Craters of the Moon National Monument & Preserve

http://www.nps.gov/crmo/index.htm

Washington:

- Officially complete our coast-to-coast trip in Cape Alava, Washington, the westernmost point in the 48 contiguous states

http://www.experiencewa.com/attraction.aspx?id=1513

I’m really excited that our journey starts at the easternmost point and ends at the westernmost point of the 48 contiguous states; although, I hate that we’ll probably have to miss the northernmost point, Northwest Angle in Lake of the Woods, Minnesota.  Other than that, what other must-sees should we add to the agenda?

Do you know someone that is difficult to shop for? Meet my husband, Matt! After 6 1/2 years together, I still haven’t managed to find a gift that he didn’t return or claim he could find cheaper on eBay.  So this year, I really stressed about what to get him for our 5th Anniversary…until I heard a friend at work bragging that his wife got him a NASCAR driving package from XperienceDays.com. Perfect! My husband loves speeding.  We rarely complete a road trip without getting pulled over at least once. As a matter of fact, I just put a money order in the mail today for a ticket he got on our last vacation. I spoke to all my male co-workers and called my brother to get a “cool-factor” rating on my gift idea.  The consensus - any guy would be crazy not to love it. So, I browse the available NASCAR packages at XperienceDays.com and settle on a $365 package that includes classroom training, five laps with an instructor, and eight glorious laps in the driver’s seat at our choice of track - Atlanta Motor Speedway, Bristol Motor Speedway, Lowe’s Motor Speedway, North Carolina Speedway, or Darlington Racetrack.  I’ll admit, I also bought one for me since it’s my 5th Anniversary, too.

A few days after ordering online, the sleekest black box arrived in the mail.  In it was a gift card for the experience, a picture of a NASCAR with a description of our race day, and a personal note from me that read, “Matthew, I wanted to give you the best ride of your life - hope you like it!” His much anticipated reaction? “Cool…how much did you pay for this?”

Anyway, we’ll be checking off Thing #64 soon.  I’m pretty sure my husband will come to terms with his non-eBay gift when we’re driving 165 mph in a NASCAR stockcar around Atlanta Motor Speedway.

I’ve always wondered why people don’t keep their blogs updated…that is, until I fell into the black hole of life’s other responsibilities.

A friend suggested that I make my own to-do list rather than conforming to a list that was created by someone else.  I want to assure all of you that I’ve fully inspected Richard Horne’s list and wouldn’t want to exclude any of the Things from my list.  I get to add my own personal spin on Horne’s list, and, to me, that is the beauty of it.  BUT just to prove that I have my own unique goals in life, I want to share a couple of my recently accomplished Things.  I like to call them “102″ and “103″.

Thing 102 actually trumped Thing 74, so I had to put flying a plane on hold.  In December 2008, I finally completed my Master of Aeronautical Science in Space Studies from Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University.  Now, I need to focus on Thing 104 - completing my Ph.D.

Thing 103 trumped Thing 9, so learning piano is put on hold for now.  My husband and I began talking about adoption in January 2007.  That same month, a little girl entered foster care and began her journey through many homes to find her forever family.  Matt and I could not begin the 10-week adoption classes because of his deployment schedule.  My mother and I tossed ideas around about what we would name a little girl, and we always agreed that “Katie” was perfect.  Finally, my husband and I were able to start the class in between two deployments in 2008.  We were even able to complete our home study and all of the paperwork before he left the country again.  Throughout his deployment, we passed the time by looking through profiles and contacting agencies.  When Matt got home in February and we still hadn’t heard from any agencies, we braced ourselves for what everyone said would be a long process.  Only a couple weeks later, we were in for a surprise.  A message on our answering machine said there was an adorable little girl that would be up for adoption soon, but needed a foster home within two weeks.  We called the caseworker back, and asked what the girl’s name was.  “Kaitlyn”, she said.  She moved in around March and became our “Katie” forever in August!

Besides Things that get pushed to the side for other Things, there are also Things we set out to do that end up as ultimate failures.  Case in point, the Endeavour Shuttle launch on June 13th, June 17th, July 11th, July 12th, July 13th, AND July 15th!!  How did we manage to attempt a shuttle launch that would get pushed back five times?  Obviously, we were not destined to see this launch.  The night before the first scheduled launch, we had to drive all night from Georgia to Florida.  Somewhere in BFE, Florida we turned into 2am zombies and had to stop at a hotel.  I was so relieved to hear we didn’t miss anything the next morning because the launch was scrubbed.  We continued to drive to Kennedy Space Center to tour the launch pads and find out when the next launch attempt was scheduled.  We toured Disney World while we waited for the June 17th launch to take place (not a bad Thing).  I watched the NASA Channel until 3:30am on June 17th, only to find out that the launch was scrubbed again due to a gas leak.  I considered going back for the July 11th, 12th, and 13th launch reschedules, but thought better after I heard the thunderstorm forecast.  By July 15th, I had accepted that this was not the launch I was supposed to see and gave up.  The shuttle launched successfully that night.

I can’t complain about the failed attempts to accomplish Things.  I feel more alive during the JOURNEY with my family than while checking off any to-do list.  See our journey here:

Even after my video didn’t make the top 3, I had this strange feeling that I would be on the Grammys. I also predicted the top 3 would be Ileadene, Scott the Nerd, and Retro Girl - maybe I should get my head checked. I had to work on the big day, so I made sure to Tivo the Grammys just in case I wouldn’t be able to catch the show at work. For about five hours I sat at my desk waiting for the Grammys to air, then right before Katy Perry’s performance a swarm of customers suddenly began having computer problems that couldn’t possibly wait for a few minutes (I guess I should tell you I’m a System Administrator). I ran to their aid, fumbling as fast as I could to get the computers to at least fake normal operation. I sprinted back to my desk just in time to find out I had missed the performance My co-workers also added to my disappointment by telling me that my video was not shown.

I wallowed in self-pity for another three hours until the night-shift arrived, then sped home and fast-forwarded the Tivo to Katy Perry. Somebody in the Perry camp is a big TEASE, because none of the “Moment” videos were played until over half-way through the song…I started thinking it was all a big scam. In the final chorus of “I Kissed a Girl”, there it was in all its glory - my shower video! My shower video?? That video didn’t even make it into the top 20 videos! My friends and I wasted hours of our lives voting for the nurse video to be shown on the Grammys. That explains why my co-workers didn’t see me on the show - they were expecting my nurse video. Seriously, somebody at CBS likes to play jokes.

The moral of the story - I was on the Grammys! I was part of the entertainment for music’s biggest entertainers. For all of about five seconds

I learned some valuable lessons:

1. You can’t please everyone - In the photo for “PETA’s Sexiest Vegetarian in the Air Force”, I was 5′8″ and 120lbs. A Pensacola News Journal reader said that I was too skinny and need bigger boobs. In the nurse video for “My Grammy Moment”, I was 5′8″ and 130lbs. A CBS forum member said I have jiggly thighs and fat rolls. Maybe I should meet them in the middle at 125lbs??
2. If you’re going to participate in a contest based on votes, go all out so you win and your effort is not wasted. Send press releases to the media, message people on myspace, list it on craigslist, post links on forums, make cards to pass out in public, hang bulletins across town, etc.
3. Don’t ever participate in a contest based on votes!

 I want to hear about what shows everyone else would want to play a part in…so fess up

This is surreal! THANK YOU, THANK YOU!! I only partially expected to make the top 300, and here I am in the TOP 10! Granted, by default I made the top 300 by just submitting a video. I’ve already experienced my first public scandal (http://www.cbs.com/forum/posts/list/36255.page). Is it or is it not considered cheating to ask people to vote for me? I’ve also been called “hefty” (some gun forum that I can’t seem to find right now). Even if it’s true that the camera adds 10 pounds, I hardly think I qualify as “hefty”. So now, this competition has become much more personal. I have to win! Not only because my co-workers have seen me gyrate in a corset on cbs.com, but also because there are people that want to see me lose.

The final 3 videos will be announced this Friday, February 6th. You, the voters, get to decide the videos that make it on the Grammys this year (Can you put “Grammy Producer” on your resume now?). The vote count started back at 0, so I have to start getting votes from scratch. Please vote like crazy for a few more days, then sit back and watch the Grammys on February 8th to see if we had the most votes!

VOTE HERE: http://www.cbs.com/specials/grammys/moment/video_player.php?vid=345

THANK YOU! I made it into the top 20 videos for the “My Grammy Moment” contest. CBS will narrow the videos down to 10 on January 30th, so please keep voting for my video until you need your clicking finger examined at the ER!!

The link is: http://www.cbs.com/specials/grammys/moment/video_player.php?vid=345

I almost didn’t post that video, because my mother went into absolute hysteria about the video’s crude, pornographic nature. She’s gonna have to pop a Vicodin when she’s sees my blog on #7, #18, #20, #23, #62, and #71 I’m partly kidding…I don’t think getting arrested has to be that graphic.

Anyway, it’s nothing compared to Madonna’s 2006 Grammy performance. OMG, I’d almost quit eating buckets of soy ice cream to get those legs!! Can I just touch them? Are they real? Seriously, find that video on You Tube…you’ll unconsciously hop on a treadmill and set the time for “1 week”.

I worked waaaaay too hard on that video not to post it. I drove to four different cities trying to find a nurse’s uniform, stethoscope, modern stool, hot pink rug, door numbers, curtains, and, let’s not forget, the AWESOME satin corset and sky-high heels. It took about three days to come up with the choreography - much of which was edited out to switch between scenes. Three more days were needed to re-arrange my garage and hang the curtains from the ceiling. I can only imagine what my neighbors thought was going on at my house when I started parking outside and they saw that set-up every time I opened the garage door. I wonder if they heard “I Kissed a Girl” blaring from my garage at 2am…

Well, go back to voting for my video featuring fully covered lady bits I plan on accomplishing #65 if I win, and you’re all invited!

Thanks to those of you that have been voting like crazy…my first video sky-rocketed to the first page of the “Fans are watching” list! This is my second video, so maybe this will be on the Grammys with your voting power. Please vote for the video here:

http://www.cbs.com/specials/grammys/moment/video_player.php?vid=345

Don’t forget to vote for the first video, too! Hopefully, I’ll be able to post three more…we’ll see…

By the way, which video do you like most so far?